Chapter 4

Worry 

Slowly opening my eyes, the bright lights from the hallway caused me to notice the pounding in my head. Moaning as I sit up I see that I am in my room, the shades shut, and the door only slightly open. Rubbing my eyes, I swing my feet to the side of the bed, and slowly walk down the hall. Maybe a glass of water will help this headache to disappear faster. Making my way down the hall turning the corner into the kitchen, my only thought being a glass of water. Reaching up into the cabinet grabbing a glass, and putting it under the tab letting water fill the cup halfway. Lifting the cup to my lips I can feel the cool water touch my tongue, feeling it slide down my throat with each swallow. The throbbing pain in my head is continuous and the water was no help, all I can do is wonder when the pain will go away. Rubbing my head, trying to ease the pain I feel a hand touch my arm, a surge a fear shoots through me. Quickly turning around I see Nic looking at me with what seemed like worry in his eyes. "Are you doing okay?"

The fear leaves my body, relieved that it is only him in the house. "Yea I think so. How long was out?"

"About five hours." His eyes still filled with emotion.

Looking over at the clock I notice that it is now 7:30pm. "Oh wow. You hungry?"

Seemingly as though he just realized he was showing so emotion he moves his hand away from my arm, and straightening his back. He no longer looked as concerned as he once did. "Uh yeah sure why not? What do you want I'll cook."

"You cook?"

"What? I am not just a pretty face in the crowd. I am a pretty face with knowledge of the kitchen."

Unable to stop I started giggling, not caring that it makes the pain in my head grow, it just made everything seem better even if I did feel worse. The giggles erupted inside me, and soon I could calm down. Breathing heavy and wiping the tears from my eyes I see him glaring at me. "What is so funny" Crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh nothing, just me admiring that godly pretty face of yours." The giggles start up again.

"Okay Okay, you better stop all that laughing before you hurt something worse than your head."

"Hmm would that be your precious ego?" Doing all I can to hold back the laugh that was building inside me.

"As a matter of fact it is. My ego is everything." Over exaggerating his arm movement, and doing his best to look serious, and failing miserably.

A smile grows on his lips, and a small laugh escapes his closed lips. As the both of them laughed uncontrollably, neither one was able to finish a sentence. The time flew by and after a while both of them were calmed down enough to talk. "Elle seriously what do you want to eat."

"If you look in the fridge there should be things in there to make some vegetable stir fry, if you want to put meat in it look in the freezer there should be beef and a little bit of chicken."

"Wait.. you aren't even going to argue with me about cooking?"

"Nah. My head hurts too much to argue, and plus being around hot steam does not sound the best right now."

His eyes shot up in realization, he must have forgot about my headache and again his eyes were full of worry and concern. "Why don't you go lie down while I make some dinner okay?"

"That sounds like a plan." I start to walk out of the kitchen, then I pause and turn around to see Nic getting everything out to make stir fry. "Oh and Nic."

"Yeah?"

"Might wanna be careful when you stop being your normal self, might get a girl to start thinking you care." A smirk across my lips.

"Oh would you get the hell out of here and lie down. How am I supposed to joke around with you when you're in pain? You probably wouldn't even know what I'm saying till it's too late, that is no fun." His smirk shows, but I swear I can still hear a bit of concern in his voice.

As I walk through the hole in the wall to the living room I notice the book that Nic has been reading all day laying on the floor right beside the hallway. A pillow from my parents bed and blanket lay beside the book. Was he sitting there waiting for me to get up? Is he truly worried about me? No, there is no way that someone like him would even give a person like me a second thought, I am nothing compared to him. A feeling of embarrassment shoots through my body as I make my way to the couch, my normal blanket waiting for me as it lays across the back of the couch. Grabbing it I settle down against the soft and yet hard feeling against my body, bundling the blanket under my head for cushion. I shut my eyes, blocking out the noises and the bright lights.

Moments later I am being woken up by repeated poking on my side. "What?"

"Dinners ready. Wanna get up and eat something? It will make you feel better."

Looking up I see Nic standing over me with a plate of beef stir fry in hand, concern still present in his eyes.

"Okay, I'll eat as soon as you stop looking at me like that." I slowly sit up, noticing that my headache is not as painful as it was just minutes ago.

"How am I looking at you?" Handing me a plate and a fork then walking into the kitchen to get his plate. Grabbing himself a plate and then walking back to the couch, never breaking eye contact with me, just waiting for my answer.

"With all of the worry and concern. There is no reason to be worried."

As he sits down on the other end of the couch he looks down at his plate and I can hear his voice softly. "I know that you're okay... I just don't want to cause you any pain."

With those last words we ate in silence. I would look over and I thought I caught him looking at me a couple of times, but I must have been seeing things. Finishing the meal I get up and take my plate to the kitchen, he soon follows. Before he makes it to the sink I grab his plate. "You cooked that means I clean."

"Oh really now?" Trying to reach for his plate back.

"Don't fight me on this, I am cleaning and you are going to go back and sit on the couch and get over it."

"I like it when you're bossy." I can feel him looking at me, waiting for a response, but I have none.

"Just go sit on the couch or go do something while I clean."

"Can I stand here and watch you work magic on those dirty, dirty plates." He leans back on the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. A look of satisfaction crosses his face.

"Maybe you should go shower and clean your dirty, dirty mind."

"Oh nice comeback. Alright you win, I will go shower myself and then we can sit and talk about your life?"

"Sure whatever you want just please get out of here before your mind dirtys up the place."

He turns and starts walking, with no hesitation he turns around and says, "oh Elle, in here." Pointing towards his head, "everything is already nasty, and it is good."

With that he sprinted off towards the unused bedroom, he always has to have the last word doesn't he? I turned around and began the dishes, and I noticed that the kitchen was already clean, the pots he used, the utensils, everything. All I needed to clean was the plates and forks. After only minutes I hear the shower start and with a devilish smirk I turn on the hot water.

"AAAHHHH COLD COLD COLD."

Maybe that will clean him up a bit before he comes out of there. Scrubbing the dishes with the soapy water and then carefully putting them to the side to dry when I am done cleaning. As the dirty water drains into the pipes I take a cloth and dry each plate and each fork, placing each in their original spots in the drawer and cabinet. After everything is clean I walk over to the couch and pick up the laptop, I can't work right now, I would finish too early and then barely get paid. Maybe a movie would make me feel better. Walking to my room I opened the top drawer of my dresser, finding a movie was the easy part, finding one I wanted to watch was the hard part. As I searched through the movies, memories began to flood my every thought.

I was 10 years old and I would go around the neighborhood doing all the chores I could for the people who would give me anything, even just quarters, just to afford a movie to watch on the old TV that was in the living room. It was never used, because I am always the only one there. After awhile all I could do was watch movies or clean, but all that money was put to waste when one night she came home, my mother. She saw the TV and in a drunken rage yelled. "THAT SON OF A BITCH BOUGHT THIS TV, SO IT'S GOT TO GO!!"With that she threw the TV to the ground, shattering the screen and tossed the rest into the fireplace, nothing was left.

Looking at the old movies a shudder went down my spine, I grabbed my old favorite, Love Now. The movie was about a girl who was head over heels for a guy, but he just never saw her for more than a friend, and as soon as he realizes how he feels it's too late. She is getting married to someone else and he is invited to the wedding, and yes after she sees him again after all this time she can't help but fall back in love with him. This is the story I thought would be mine as a young child, but I have come to terms that I will never get this fairy tale ending that I see in most of these movies.

I turn around and in the mirror I see my face for the first time, I completely forgot about the whole thing until now. When I looked in the mirror I looked like the person I have always wanted to be, the person I have wished on so many shooting stars that I would be. My body, my face, everything seemed perfect and I loved the way that I looked, the way that my body felt. Unable to stop the smile that spread on my face I walk back to the dresser and grab Love Now.

With the movie in hand, I start out of the room, the shower no longer going. The door to the bathroom swings open, almost hitting me in the face. "Hey Nic please don't hit me with a door."

"Don't turn off the hot water when I'm trying to clean my oh so dirty self."

This is the first time I have noticed him, I look at him with only a towel tied loosely around his waist. Moving my way up his body I notice his toned body, strong arms, and everything that his clothes hide. "Like what you see?" He says with a smirk and wink.

"If that's what you need to think to help you sleep at night." Holding the movie I start towards the living room once more.

"Hold on, what do you have there?"

"An old movie I used to watch when I was younger."

"How are you going to watch that? You don't have a TV anywhere in here."

"On the laptop ole smart one." Sarcasm seeping at every word.

"Mind a movie buddy?" His whole body language seemed to change, he was being genuine, he actually wanted to watch this movie with me.

"I'd consider it, only if..." Putting my finger to my chin.

"What?" He was basically jumping to hear me finish the sentence.

"If you go put on some clothes and grab a blanket." A smile planted on my lips. "I'll go make some popcorn. Want anything to drink? Maybe sweet tea?"

"Yes! Tea sounds amazing right now." With that he bolted to the room he now occupied.

A soft giggle escaped my lips and started walking towards the living room. I set the movie down on the couch and made my way to the kitchen, pulling out the popcorn kernels and a pan with a lid. I put butter and salt into the pan and then put the kernels in next, after about two minutes they started to pop, and just a minute later there was enough popcorn for two people in the pan. Turning off the stove and moving the popcorn to a different burner I bent down to get a bowl that will hold all the popcorn. When I turned around I saw Nic standing there watching me, I wish I knew what he was thinking sometimes, to understand why he looked at me like that when I wasn't paying any attention. "Want to take this to the couch and get us two glasses of sweet tea?"

"Uh yea sure, love too."

Looking at the clock I saw the time of 9:43pm, oh wow the day has honestly just flown by without a second thought. I reach up into the cabinet and grab two glasses, and put ice and tea in each. Holding both full glasses I walk over to the couch where Nic is sitting patiently waiting for me to come, a large and fluffy blanket laying across his lap. Handing him his glass of tea I set up one of the TV dinner stands and put the laptop on the top and then insert the movie into the slot. The movie previews start, I turn around and see Nic looking up at me, lifting the blanket as if he's telling me to sit that close. Hesitating at first but I knew that it would be warm in that spot. He never takes his eyes off of me, his mouth opens so slightly and a hushed voice escapes his lips. "You know, I haven't actually seen a movie in a long time."

"Really?" Our eyes never break from the others' gaze.

"Honestly. I guess I have just been so busy with work that I just didn't have the time to sit around and watch a movie." His eyes fall to his lap.

"Well now you do have time."

With that we were silent, just eating the popcorn, drinking the tea, and watching the movie. I didn't realize how close we were, I could smell the shampoo in his hair, and the feeling of his soft skin against my arm. It was intoxicating how amazing he is. How could one person be so perfect to literally smell perfect, how can he stand to be around me? A person that is nothing, was born to only breath nothing more. No one wants me, my own family would rather me be dead. So why can't I stop thinking about him? Why has this guy filled my every thought? I just need to forget about him, I need to realize that this is soon going to be over, that I will never see him again. That was what hurt the most, that when I was done wishing, he would be gone. The movie went on and I could feel my eyes growing heavy, I was too tired to move. As the minutes passed by, and the movie drug on, I slowly drifted off to sleep, unable to stay awake any longer.